The Gaucho Gazette

The Gaucho Gazette

WEEK 9 9 November 2026, 2:00 p.m. PST2026 SEASON

THIS WEEK

The battles

Updated Mon 9 Nov, 2:00 p.m. PST

Live scoring refreshes every 30 seconds.

Scores & standings, week by week →

HEAD TO HEAD

Updated Mon 9 Nov, 2:00 p.m. PST
Record between the clubs meeting this week, counted since the league's 2015 reboot — earlier seasons are not part of this paper's record. Averages are points per meeting. Tap a row for the last five meetings.
This weekRecordMtgs AvgLeads

THE TABLE

Current standings

Updated Mon 9 Nov, 2:00 p.m. PST
The league's own standings, taken from the app once a night. Playoff line after fourth. Shaded brown: the two currently headed for the Toilet Bowl — worst record against lowest points for, which is not the same as the bottom two here.
#ManagerRec PFPA
1MauTacolicios6–2952.6904.1
2ChinChin Dynasty5–31082.6991.1
3TommyDoubleGs4Me5–31029.71009.0
4JohnnyGibbs me that Nut5–31028.0971.3
5AI HefeAI Hefe4–41084.71108.2
6JakeFinal Destination4–4942.2988.6
7DraitserCan I Burrow A Sandwich3–51020.7980.8
8SpencerJed’s Big Orange Suit and Lil Blue Balls0–8874.91062.3

Scores & standings, week by week →

WEEK BY WEEK

Every manager’s score

Updated Mon 9 Nov, 2:00 p.m. PST
4080120160Wk 1Wk 2Wk 3Wk 4Wk 5Wk 6Wk 7Wk 8
Show as a table
ManagerWk 1Wk 2Wk 3Wk 4Wk 5Wk 6Wk 7Wk 8Total
Johnny153.6125.9138.6122.7169.1104.493.3120.51028.1
Chin170.8123.8112.3157.8131.4128.2136.2122.11082.6
Jake80.8123.8133.0115.2130.259.7135.1160.3938.1
Spencer109.0113.484.999.4160.094.9114.994.3870.8
Mau131.299.4129.9123.4120.3128.3120.999.1952.5
Draitser135.2146.7126.4160.7111.590.9117.3126.01014.7
Tommy146.098.3105.7129.7179.2112.3125.2133.41029.8
AI Hefe118.8135.1119.1177.6137.2101.1145.4144.41078.7

Points each week as the league settled them. A week joins the chart once every matchup in it is final. Tap a name to pick out one line; hover or tap the chart for the week’s scores.

THE PROJECTION

Where they’ll finish

Updated Mon 9 Nov, 2:00 p.m. PST
#ManagerProj. W–L FinishPlayoff oddsToilet
1 ChinChin Dynasty 8.9–5.1 2.32 89% 0%
2 JohnnyGibbs me that Nut 8.7–5.3 2.81 83% 0%
3 AI HefeAI Hefe 7.5–6.5 3.86 62% 0%
4 MauTacolicios 8.2–5.8 4.00 58% 40%
5 DraitserCan I Burrow A Sandwich 7.2–6.8 4.35 50% 0%
6 TommyDoubleGs4Me 7.4–6.6 4.63 44% 1%
7 JakeFinal Destination 6.5–7.5 6.03 15% 59%
8 SpencerJed’s Big Orange Suit and Lil Blue Balls 1.7–12.3 7.99 0% 100%
Probability of each final seed, in percent. Twenty thousand simulations. Darker is likelier. The rule after the fourth column is the playoff line. Finishing seventh or eighth does not by itself mean the Toilet Bowl - see below.
Manager12345678
Chin42%22%14%10%6%4%1%0%
Johnny28%23%17%15%9%6%2%0%
AI Hefe9%16%20%18%18%12%8%0%
Mau10%16%15%17%17%15%10%0%
Draitser6%11%16%16%20%20%11%0%
Tommy4%10%14%16%19%22%15%0%
Jake1%2%4%8%11%21%53%0%
Spencer0%0%0%0%0%0%0%100%

THE TOILET BOWL

Projected finish, bottom of the table

Updated Mon 9 Nov, 2:00 p.m. PST
The Toilet Bowl takes the worst record and the lowest points for - usually two different clubs. Where one club is both, the second place goes to the second-lowest points for. Chances from 20,000 simulated seasons; the two middle columns are the odds of taking each of the two places, and they need not sum to the total.
ManagerProj. wins Worst recLow PF In the Toilet Bowl
Spencer1.7100%0%100%
Jake6.50%58%59%
Mau8.20%40%40%
Tommy7.40%1%1%
Johnny8.70%0%0%
Draitser7.20%0%0%
Chin8.90%0%0%
AI Hefe7.50%0%0%
Record after Week 8, and how often it ends in the Toilet Bowl. Simulated is across the same 20,000 seasons. In this league is what has actually happened, rebuilt from every regular-season result on file across the 9 seasons in which the league recorded one. Tap a row for every club behind it and where each finished. Every record, every week →
After Wk 8Simulated In this league
0–899.8%—
The other seat goes on points, not record. Where a club sat in points for after Week 8, and how often that ended in the Toilet Bowl. Two buckets rather than eight places: at nine seasons a single rank is a coin flip, and the seat only ever goes to the very bottom.
After Wk 8Simulated In this league

Record & history

Career trips, and how many were lost. Losing is the one that carries a punishment.
ManagerTripsLost
Draitser41
AI Hefe32
Mau32
Tommy20
Patrick (former)11
Spencer11
Stefan (former)11
Chin11
Johnny10
Jake10
The sentence handed down, by year.
YearLoserPunishment
2025AI HefeSexy Calendar
2024AI HefeBHT
2023MauDunk tank for 3 hours (completed in 2024 — dressed as a bunny rabbit and hunted 7-on-1 in paintball)
2022PatrickRun a 10K in a speedo
2021SpencerPublic street perform until you earn $50 or 3 hours pass
2020StefanGo to a fancy dinner with a blow-up doll
2019ChinDo a stand-up comedy routine
2018MauEnter an eating contest
2017DraitserRun for public office

THE MOVERS

Risers and fallers

Updated Mon 9 Nov, 2:00 p.m. PST
ManagerPlayoffChgProj chg
Draitser50%+39.7-2.0
Johnny83%+24.2-1.4
Mau58%+13.1+9.2
Chin89%0.0-2.0
Spencer0%0.0+3.8
AI Hefe62%-12.5-3.1
Jake15%-20.4-24.3
Tommy44%-44.2-15.6
Change in playoff odds and projected weekly points since the last build.

THE WIRE

Top waiver targets

Updated Mon 9 Nov, 2:00 p.m. PST

Claim a player in the league app →Position ranks →

#PlayerOppProjSeason avgLast wk% Own% Start
1Jones IND ON WAIVERSDAL13.78.96.511.22.1
2Wentz MINBUF12.512.80.04.43.0
3Herbert LACQQuestionable — fingerHerbert sustained a left middle finger injury in Sunday's 44-22 loss to the Texans, Alex Insdorf of BoltBeat.com reports. ON WAIVERSHOU11.110.07.832.18.1
4Lock SEAQQuestionable — obliqueSeahawks coach Mike Macdonald said Monday that Lock's tests on his oblique injury were "good," and the issue is something the QB is expected to manage ahead of Sunday's game against the Raiders, Gregg Bell of The Tacoma News Tribune... ON WAIVERSARI9.717.10.08.06.2
5Sanders CLE ON WAIVERS@NO8.60.10.13.01.5
6McCarthy NYGQQuestionable — headGiants head coach John Harbaugh said Monday that McCarthy is managing a hip pointer but is expected to play Thursday against the Commanders, Pat Leonard of the New York Daily News reports. "It does look like he's gonna play," Harbaugh... ON WAIVERS@PHI7.58.90.034.020.0
7Milton PHI ON WAIVERSNYG5.70.00.04.21.6

Unrostered players ranked by projected points for the coming week, from the same model as the rest of the site. Opponent is that player's Week 9 matchup; season average and last week are what he has actually scored in this league, and read zero until games are played.

BOOMS & BUSTS

Best and worst against what they cost

Updated Mon 9 Nov, 2:00 p.m. PST

Booms

  1. 29.9Matthew Golden WR · $0Johnny
  2. 21.3Brock Bowers TE · $0AI Hefe
  3. 29.1Christian Watson WR · $2Tommy
  4. 17.0San Francisco 49ers DEF · $0Johnny
  5. 17.2Luther Burden WR · $0Spencer

Busts

  1. 6.9Jonathan Taylor RB · $57Chin
  2. 5.7Derrick Henry RB · $41Johnny
  3. 8.6Jaxon Smith-Njigba WR · $62Jake
  4. 5.0Ashton Jeanty RB · $27Mau
  5. 5.0Quinshon Judkins RB · $27Spencer

Points scored, against the player's auction price. No outside forecast is used.

TRANSACTIONS

Who moved

Updated Mon 9 Nov, 2:00 p.m. PST
Every add, drop and claim the league has approved, newest first. The bid column is FAAB actually spent; a blank means the player was free. A contested claim says who it outbid.
WhenManagerInOut BidHow
JohnnyEmeka EgbukaWR TBMarvin Harrison Jr.WR HOU—Free agent
JohnnyJ.K. DobbinsRB DENNew England PatriotsDEF NE—Free agent
AI HefeJadarian PriceRB SEADevin SingletaryRB NYG—Free agent
SpencerMalik WillisQB MIA——Free agent
JakeDavid MontgomeryRB HOURJ HarveyRB DEN—Free agent
JohnnyLadd McConkeyWR LACOutbid Chin $0Tre TuckerWR LV$1Waiver
ChinBaltimore RavensDEF BAL—Drop
DraitserTyler AllgeierRB ARINew York JetsDEF NYJ$7Waiver
DraitserJonah ColemanRB DENGermie BernardWR PIT$2Waiver
JakeKenny GainwellRB TBMarShawn LloydRB GB$6Waiver
ChinEmeka EgbukaWR TB—Drop
DraitserHouston TexansDEF HOUCleveland BrownsDEF CLE—Free agent
TommyLadd McConkeyWR LAC—Drop
AI HefeDevin SingletaryRB NYGDavid MontgomeryRB HOU—Free agent

THE LEDGER

Value against price

Season points, against what a player at that price is returning at his own position. A dollar buys about 1.2 points of running back.
PlayerPosPaidOwner SeasonPar+/−
LawrenceQB$3Tommy13274+57
HigginsWR$12AI Hefe10448+57
GoffQB$2Jake12973+55
SwiftRB$5Tommy9850+48
WatsonWR$2Tommy8237+44
McCaffreyRB$51Mau146105+41
JacksonQB$40Spencer0114-114
BrownWR$34Spencer071-71
PickensWR$30Johnny067-67
LoveRB$12Johnny058-58
SkatteboRB$11Tommy057-57
Croskey-MerrittRB$7Mau052-52
Notes on the projection — how these numbers are made, and what has not been checked →